Breasts, blue balls, and sperm – It’s a party over here

Blue Balls

Last week, my aunt was talking about grabbing breasts…last night, she wanted to give me blue balls.  I’m confused and highly disgusted. Here’s a little back story.  My cousin ran into something and got this huge bruise right under and to the side of his knee.  I was being a smart ass and that’s when … Continue reading

A tryptophan-induced coma leads to Three-Layered Oreo Fudge

I pushed off posting yesterday because I figured an extra day would help get the creative juices flowing, right?  WRONG.  I couldn’t be more wigged out on tryptophan and in dire need of a nap.  I blame it all on the turkey …on the turkey, on the mashed potatoes, on the stuffing, on the pork … Continue reading

It’s a Breast-Grabbing-Kinda Thanksgiving + Batman Wreath :)

Batman Wreath

Last night, I had the pleasure of hearing my aunt yell “Grab the breasts, grab the breasts!!” to a guy my age who was standing next to me.  Needless to say, I was scared that she meant my supple pair.  Luckily, she was talking about turkey breasts. My mom, aunt, and I volunteered last night … Continue reading

I’m Yelp Elite, BITCHESSS!!! :P

*deep breath in* I’M YELP ELITE, BITCHESSSSSSSSS :P I don’t think you understand how ecstatic I am…well maybe you have some idea but really…I’m so freaking excited. A lot of people have asked me, well what IS Yelp Elite?  What does it mean?  What free shit do you get?  To be honest, I have no … Continue reading

Chewy Thin Mint Treats In My Mouth

Grasshopper Mint Marshmallow Treats

There are more Vegas pictures floating around out there, I just know it.  Until they’re all in my possession, I’m going to postpone my Vegas, Part 3 post (but check out Part 1 and Part 2!!).  I hear all the booing and ruckus, y’all are making.  Believe me, I’m making it too!  However, my third … Continue reading

Vegas, babyyy!! {2}

Is it Friday yet?  It sure feels like it should be. Yesterday, we talked about Vegas, Part 1.  It was back-to-back alcohol-seeped fun.  But don’t worry, my friends are a tough group, see? We’ll mess you up, mang!  Apparently with a smile on our faces :P  Except for Amanda…it looks like she means business so … Continue reading

Vegas, babyyy!! {1}

Vegas plane ride with Julio and Jeff

I can’t feel my toes.  Let’s be specific, I can’t feel the four left toes on my left foot.  My big toe is slightly numb where it touches my second toe.  My second toe is pretty much all the way numb.  And the other three are that weird tingly numb. I’m totally fine, right? Someone … Continue reading

I’m a fattie, especially when I’m in San Francisco

Served with a fresh organic chocolate-tipped cone from Ici in Berkeley

I love food Food loves me I’m a hungry girl you see With a great big bite And my happy eyes alight Won’t you chill in my belly? If read wrong, I sound like a cannibalistic psycho.  But really I’m trying to express my love of food through my rendition of Barney’s song. I love … Continue reading

Zombies R Gonna Eat Our BrainZ + Winners Revealed

We’re all going to die. The zombies are going to rip into us piece by piece and eat our brains.  Your brainz.  Your friends’ brainZ.  My braaainZzZ. Here’s living (dead?) proof: Like I said before, we’re going to die. I went to the Night of the Living Dead Show with my friend, Julio, at the … Continue reading

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