My first steps
I’m sure a mother watching her child’s first steps for the first time conveys a multitude of emotions I can’t even begin to describe.
Joy. Happiness. Excitement. Awe. Wonder.
I don’t remember what my first steps as a child were like. I’m sure I clapped my hands and bubbles frothed from my mouth in excitement. Just because I was probably a happy ass baby.
Well yesterday, I experienced my first steps…all over again. After my ATV riding accident that took place Saturday afternoon, I couldn’t move. They transferred me to a backboard and drove me to an ambulance since it couldn’t navigate all those whoop-dee-whoops or potholes that well. Apparently neither could my ATV in soft sand which I realized when I went flying from it.
Full protective gear saved my life. I’m sure of it. I didn’t think it was that bad though because I could still wiggle my feet even though I was in agony. They took me to the closest hospital an hour away. This consisted of a bumpy ass ambulance ride while fully strapped in. My first time.
The first hospital was a bit of a blur. Lots of prescribed drugs and pain. It was all a whirlwind. What I do remember though is the doctor telling me that she’s worried because my sacrum was fractured all the way through and was potentially hanging off the back.
That’s when shit got even crazier. I was helicoptered to UCSD’s trauma center because that was the only place that could take me. They cut off my favorite bra when I got there. Dammit. Victoria’s Secret, I owe you a visit when I get back up on my feet.
Lots of confusion. Lots of doctors and nurses poking and prodding at me. Lots of questions. Lots of haziness.
And then…then they rolled me past my aunt who was with me the whole time (even on the helicopter) and my mom and other aunt who came to see me.
Needless to say, after settling into my room, there were lots of tears. I was still scared but I stayed positive. So many good things had happened to me in the face of all this shittiness. So much for me to be grateful for.
There was a doctor at the scene of the accident. She was able to wrap up my cuts and test my initial movement. Others kept me hydrated, stroked my hair, and held my hand to make me feel better. Complete strangers. I still don’t remember who you all are and couldn’t pick you out in a crowded room but thank you so much for staying by my side.
Thank you to the ambulance guys who talked me through the hour-long ride to the first hospital. Thank you to the super nice people in the helicopter who let me aunt come with me. Thanks for wrapping me in blankets so my puny ass doesn’t freeze to death from my unreasonable perception of cold.
Thank you to the staff at UCSD’s trauma center. I’m still here. But I appreciate every kind word, every encouraging talk, every helping hand. For the most part, I’ve gotten nothing but smiles from all the varied level of nurses and aides.
But most of all, a big thank you to my family who rushed to see me, slept in hard chairs, and tended to me in my time of need. Thank you to my family and friends who texted and called to see how I was going (I only told a handful of people). You know who you are. I love you all.
Yesterday, I took my first steps again. As a reborn person.
It required a lot of assistance from the physical therapist and the use of a walker, but despite how painful it was, those baby steps brought a smile to my tear-stained face. I could walk again. It’ll take a lot of work to get to a point where I can walk on my own but I’ll be darned if those first steps didn’t feel fucking amazing.
If you’ve noticed that I’ve been a little silent on the social media forefront, this is why. I promise to reply to all your comments on my blog too! Super excited about some awards I received! Thanks so much :) I still hope to post but it just may take me a little longer as I’m going to focus on really walking first ;)
Until next time, y’all!! :P