Vying to be Le Clown’s Bitch
Let’s be real here about Le Clown’s A Clown on Fire Club Member Wrangler Contest (ACOFCMW). Whoever applies for that shit is basically going to be Le Clown’s bitch if you win.
I see no better example than Twindaddy’s post for El Presidente where Le Clown instructed him to delete every single emoticon I put in the comments section. Don’t believe me? Take a little look at the Twindaddy for El Presidente!! post I’m referring to. Let’s just say, I had a little TOO MUCH fun with that one ;)
As for Brother Jon and Brainsnorts, they’re hefty competition, yes, but they ain’t got nothin’ on me.
First off, it seems that all of them are falling at Le Clown’s feet to be the head of this fantastic club. As just a club member, I think I would do just fine handling all the strange but fun guidelines of the club (except for no emoticons!! :P). However, as president, I would fucking kick ass. Let’s name the reasons, shall we?
- I’m fucking Batman. Who better to handle Le Clown’s bitch tasks than a member of the Justice League? I mean, really, come on. You don’t need a genius to figure that one out.
- I like Le Clown despite the fact that he likes to give me shit CONSTANTLY. Half kidding. He only gives me shit like half the time. But guess what? I can fucking take it. As top dog of his fan-fucking-tastic club, you gotta have balls of steel (wearing Stormtrooper armor doesn’t count, Twindaddy…)
- A baker deserves to be the official “Wrangler” of the ACOF club. C’mon, who else is going to provide the baked goods and snacks when we all pow wow together to talk about how awesome Le Clown is and brush each other’s hair? (Or rub each other’s helmets…? <– I’m looking at you, Mr. Storm Trooper)
- You won’t get a lemon.
- I don’t always like clowns, but when I do, I prefer Le Clown.
Let’s face it. I’m one tough cookie. I even turned Twindaddy and he likes me now. So, ha!
When you’re faced with a higher being in the online world, complete ego-stroking and ass-kissing can definitely help. But a leader who can bring the people together in the name of Le Clown and suggest new more foreign ideas that others would not dare to bring up to the all-fearing clown, well shit, that’s who we really need. By doing so, not only will Le Clown benefit from each and every one of us, but we in turn will be enriched by Le Clown himself.
So some might ask me why I’m even vying to be Le Clown’s Bitch at all then since it seems I want to do so much more… Well that my friends, is the bloody point. I won’t just be Le Clown’s bitch, Le Clown’s lap dog, Le Clown’s right hand (wo)man… I’ll be a TRUE A Clown on Fire Club Member Wrangler. One who will rally the people, in the name of Le Clown.
Unless of course if Le Clown really IS just looking for a president who will roll over and act just like him so he can maintain his dictatorship… Does that sound like him? Fuck. Oh well. Either way, I did my best, folks.
First thing’s first though, if I win, I will strongly push Le Clown to change his “About” section to an “Aboot” section so that he sticks to his roots. See? I would be SO GREAT in this ACOFCMW position…emoticons and all!! ;) :P :D
P.S. I shall attempt to bribe Le Clown by posting a Poor Man’s Pudding Cake recipe on this blog (since it’s one of his favorites) and perhaps even make it for him and le family (if they let me into their house when I show up on their doorstep in nothing but a Batman apron).
Au revoir, bitchessss!! :P
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Vyvacious business cards, Sweet Motherfeckin’™ Cupcakes, and the Batman apron debauchle « vyvacious says:
[…] wonderfully sized crowd showed up! A good portion of them were wrangled up by none other than yours truly (See, I’m a good Wrangler. Like how I threw that […]
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Vyvacious 
Vyv,
That was magnificent™! You have managed to make my dilaudid-plagued being laugh. You are the cure for my bed-rest blues… You’ve raised the bar… Here’s a funny fact about Le Clown: although he uses fuck whenever he can, he never, ever uses the “b” word… Long, long story… When you visit Montreal, I’ll tell you all about it… Now back to my loopy mind and the white ceiling above me.
Le Clown
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Thank you!! I had to look up what “dilaudid” was, haha. I hope you feel better soon!
Oh yaaaaay!! I’ve raised the bar!! hell yeah!
Interesting, excited to hear the story! :) Enjoy your loopy mind, my friend!
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Pfft, another pretender. You’ve got nothing. Batman? Shit. I’ll blast a rodent. You think you can bribe him with cake? He’ll see right through that simply ruse.
Besides, you seem to have forgotten that emoticons make his Magnificence’s eyeball’s bleed. And you use them all the time. You don’t stand a chance. Bow out gracefully, and we’ll all think better of you for it.
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Oh, and it appears you’ve offended him with the ‘b’ word. Way to go.
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I’ve got everything, buddy. I didn’t say it was a ruse. I straight up told him, hey biznatch, I’m bringing you and your fambam some damn good cake, yo.
Yes I remember, do I fucking care? Nope. I think you may have misread the post my friend. I am NOBODY’S bitch ;)
I won’t bow out and I certainly won’t give up. See you on the flip side, suckaaa.
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Shit, I had better cake from Walmart.
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I haven’t made it yet…but thanks for trying your hand at insulting my baking ;) I can assure you, I have many people to back me up :)
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Hey, stoners don’t count.
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I concur. Since I don’t smoke, I hang out with people who get their rocks off from food, dancing, and the like.
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Sure, we believe you. Normal people just eat that much cake.
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(Hey Twindaddy, this is where I draw my line and expect you to respect my wishes. I have never done drugs or smoked weed/cigarettes, etc. and probably never will. Let’s just be clear about that. Don’t mean to be a party pooper.)
Now back to the regularly scheduled program… :) I just looooove cake, yo!! I eat lots of food and then run around like a crazy person dancing everywhere I go :P I get antsy if I sit still for too long, haha.
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Okay, geez. I never have either. You sure took the fun out of my joke….
Why so serious?
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I’m sorryyyyyyy. It’s just one of those things for me, I guess. Like I said, I didn’t mean to be a butt butt, lo siento. I just have to be clear for my work’s sake :)
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Well now I can’t joke cause you ruined the mood!! ;)
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Hee hee, you know I got love ya, ya big honkin’ storm trooper!! :P
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I hope so!! You scared me for a minute.
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Lo siento!! I think it was ill-timed work lunches and the sort that took me away so I could not respond as quickly as I would have liked.
Yay! All cleaaaaaaaar!!!!
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I know that now! :D
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:D
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Nice late entry. Too bad you didn’t use Macaroni and Cheese though….that probably would have clinched it.
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Why thanks but clearly it’s not late as the cutoff date was the 25th. The tortoise and the hare, my friend, the tortoise and the hare…
Too bad, so sad. Except that I asked many posts ago what Le Clown’s FAVORITE cake was so BAMWHAMTHANKYOUMAAM.
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I know, I know. Good luck….and I thought that was spelled WHAMBAMTHANKYOUMAAM? I might be wrong though.
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Thank you :)
I was testing you, Brother Jon. You’re alright in my book ;)
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That lemon picture is the best thing I have seen in weeks. It deserves hundreds of emoticons!
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Ooooooh yay! Thanks David! :) :D :P ;)
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:D x 100!
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Yee-haw!! :D
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David,
You’re threading on thin ice with that emoticon comment… And not the Canadian one made out of seal pups’ blood, but a very thin layer of Australian water, say from Marble Bar, in Western Australia… And underneath this almost nonexistent layer of thin ice which is basically just a dirt film of filth lays deadly flesh-eating emoticons. This is a true story. Many emoticons were hurt during its conception.
Le Clown
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Oh dear. Deadly flesh-eating emoticons…? I’m scared now.
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Mr Clown (Le),
I have visited your blog a few times. It has been perky but I have felt distant from it while I have been there – on your blog – reading the things that you have written there (on your blog). I have wanted to tell your friendlies that I don’t get it. But I never said it for fear of getting all whipped up by people like BroJo. But now…
That comment…
I still don’t get it but my jaw has hit the floor and and I am certain I will be Le Dreaming tonight.
Love,
Le David-Pops
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David-Pops,
I give you a gold star for trying. A really nice shinny one,too. The circus is always opened for you, as you are liked by many bloggers I respect, therefore, you are a good man, even if you bring “emoticons” to the plate occasionally. À bientôt, mon chéri.
Le Clown
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It’s hard to argue with Justice League status
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I agree, thank you.
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If that is indeed the truth. We only have her word that she’s a part of the Justice League. Clearly they’ve lowered their standards if she’s been admitted.
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Haters gonna hate ;)
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Duh. That’s why they’re called haters.
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Hey hater, Nicole is giving you shit :P Scroll down to the bottom of my page to see her comment :D
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She betta not be!
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Oh but she is. Guess you’re just gonna let her walk all over you, eh? :P
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You rabble-rouser! My Nicole didn’t and would NEVA talk shit about me! Except on my own blog….
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Hahaha!!! I love how Nicole has removed herself from this conversation… :P
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Bitches, beware. Vyvy means business!! 😜
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Hahahaha!! Damn right! ;)
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Vyv,
This is a side of you I’ve never seen before. You are a force to be reckoned with!
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Why thank you, Cathy! :) Slowly, y’all will be able to see all the many layers I have. It just takes a little time for me!
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My vote is still loyally with Rich, Vyv, but you did bring something major to the table. That being a vagina. I am VERY proud of you and wish you luck!
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I understand.
Yaaaay vaginas!!! Thanks Becca :D
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I don’t know twindaddy….chocolate is the way to a clown’s heart. You got some serious competition!!!!!!!!
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Thanks for getting my back, Nicole!! ;)
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That wasn’t talking shit or even having your back. Geez. She was just kindly informing me that I should not disregard you. But its too late for that.
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Bahahaha!!
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You’re evil. Just evil.
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Muahahahaha!! :D
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